swimming with your head above water

When I first started this blog I must admit that I had some delusions of grandeur. I figured everyone I know would be reading this and become instantly inspired. Well that certainly had not been the case at all. I can't even get my own family members to read it so I have just decided to let it be what it has evolved into, an online journal.

For the first time in many many months, I have been feeling good. I went from using a walker in January walking only a few feet to not needing a cane in the house. My cane is still my companion once I leave my front door, but my stamina has improved so much. I am or as tired as I have been, still have to be careful about doing too many tasks. I tire very easily. The hot season is near by and I don't need any setbacks.

It is so weird to think that a few years ago I would never have thought about these things. My walk was alerts brisk and I rarely sat still. I was a working machine and nothing could stop me. That was until multiple sclerosis started to rear its ugly head.

I have decided to do a little more for my body. My biggest fear is to end up in that wheelchair or worse. I am back in the gym swimming. It is such a strange sensation because there are parts of my body that I have no control over. My left foot for example just kind of flops around and does it's own thing. My left hand, I can't control some of the fingers and the spread apart when I am swimming. This is the nerve damage that I may never regain but I am going to do my best to prevent what I can. I can tell that my left side is so much weaker as it tires out so much faster, but slowly but surely I hope to regain that strength. For now I am a work in progress and I hope that this disease will leave me alone for awhile, actually forever sounds good to me! The other thing I hope for is the courage and mindset to keep going to the gym. It's hard and I dont want to give up.