Frustrating

I am wondering when it is that I will feel normal (or semi-normal).  Today everything hurts, if it could be possible for my hair to hurt, then it does.  I get so frustrated easily, at least right after a relapse.  The reason is there is so much I want to do that I can't.  THen on top of that I have to start back at square one.  Walking is a challenge again, boy do I really want to walk.  I want to walk for miles.  I want to hike that mountain (more likely a mole hill).
I have a big fear on top of all this.  I think they are under-estimating how sick I am.  I am fearful that I may have a more progressive form of MS.  That scares me to death.  It would mean that these relapses (or whatever they are) are going to keep coming every few months and I will be more and more debilitated.  I hope that this is not the case and that I am just having a bad couple of years, but still there is this lingering feeling that I have.  
If I can't get better, what am I going to do?  It has been already heart wrenching that I can't help people through my nursing any more.  I LOVE being a nurse and I am good at it.  I struggle that I am not able to take care of people anymore.  I get to talk to them on the phone and offer suggestions and advice, but it's not the same.  The moment that you start taking care of someone, when they realize you genuinely care about how they are doing, it changes you for the better.  My heart belongs in this line of work, but now..............