energizer bunny wherfore art thou

Ever since I have lost the ability to run, I want to run.  It's funny how the things that seemed so normal before are now a part of a wish and maybe a little bit of envy.  I long to ride my bike like I did before.
A little before I started have balance and muscle weakness, my husband gave me a nice bike for Valentines day 2008.  Now the perception is that most girls long for jewelry , flowers etc... on this day, but he knew just what to get me.  He wanted me to spend time with him doing an activity that he loved.  It was absolutely the best Valentines gift that I have ever received.  I knew shortly after that I was going to have a big problem.
We would go on these nice bike rides, but it seemed to me that my legs would quit working, especially in the heat.  It was like lead weights were applied to each leg.
So I have a goal, one of many.  I want to ride a bike again.  If it means that I have to take this awful shot once a day then so be it.  I don't want to sit back to watch life pass me by.  I want to be in the midst of it, enjoying everything that I can.  This means I have to fight, overcome.  Where are the boxing gloves cause I am ready.


Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~Helen Keller

??????

Today, my daughter comes home from school saying that she was really tired and she doesn't know why.  No big deal right????  Then she tells me that her legs are heavy, she has been very clumsy and that she kept falling down today.  Alarm bells are going off in my head.  She has a neuro appointment in January, I hope that I didn't pass this on to her. She is so young and I don't wish this on my worst enemy, let alone my beautiful daughter.  I pray to the good Lord that she doesn't have this problem.
Been a little over a month since started back on the Copaxone.  Still taking "research  drug or placebo".
I felt better the last couple days, getting a little more energy, my balance is better, my walking is better,  my talking is better.  MS is such a weird disease.  Literally, one minute your good, then the next minute you are not.  That's why it's so important not to make hasty decisions in the midst of a relapse.  It's hard to predict where you will be at the end.  However, it is important to plan.
God Bless.

about time

Welp, it's been a while.  No excuse, probably sheer laziness.  Been off Copaxone, then on Rebiff, now back to Copaxone. Hmmmm.  The good thing is that either way I am still living with MS. or wait, is that the bad thing.  
Started back to school so I can turn my RN into a BSN then eventually a MSN.  Since I can't really work the floor anymore I will subcumb to that old addage "those who can't do, teach".  I don't know if it's a good plan or not, but it's worth a try.  
I started a research study, felt like being a guinea pig for a while.  Still having to take copaxone but now with an added pill (placebo or not).  It's a blinded study so I don't know if I am actually getting the study medication or not.  I get a cognitive exam every 3 months or so.  I am hoping to not have a decline in intelligence, but if you notice misspellings don't assume it's just a mistake :)
Every day I decide that tomorrow is going to be a new day and a new start.  My diet is going to be better.  My walking is going to be better.  My energy is going to be whoop whoop.  And every night I think about how I blew it for that day.  But the good thing is there is always tomorrow.

MS awareness month

THis is from MSassociation.org.  FYI, I am already aware of MS :0)

March is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month 

The Multiple Sclerosis Association of America (MSAA) encourages everyone to take time this March to learn about multiple sclerosis (MS) and discover all of the programs and services MSAA offers to everyone affected by MS.

• Read MSAA's award-winning publications, including two new publications: Daddy's Story , a n introduction for younger children to learn about a parent's MS; and Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis -- What You Need to Know , a comprehensive guide for the PPMS community.
• Visit the online gallery for MSAA's Art Contest for People Living with Multiple Sclerosis .
• Register for MSAA's Walking and MS webcast .
• Explore MSAA's website and read about the programs and services MSAA offers the MS community.
• View one of MSAA's educational videos in the MSi Video Library .
• Attend one of MSAA's educational events. Check the calendar for an event in your area.

• Donate to MSAA, learn more about the President's Circle, or create a 
  Circle of Hope.
• Volunteer with MSAA and please share your time and skills to help the MS community.
• Join MSAA's online community. Sign-up to receive periodic email updates or become a fan of MSAA on Facebook .

"Just the Facts" from NMSS

This is from the National MS societies brochure called "Just the Facts"
What are the typical symptoms of MS?
Symptoms of MS are unpredictable; they can vary from person to person, and from time to time in the same person. For example: One person may experience abnormal fatigue and episodes of numbness and tingling. Another could have loss of balance and muscle coordination making walking difficult. Still another could have slurred speech, tremors, stiffness and bladder problems. Sometimes major symptoms disappear completely, and the person regains lost functions. In severe MS, people have symptoms on a permanent basis including partial or complete paralysis, and difficulties with vision, cognition, speech and elimination.

What causes the symptoms?
MS symptoms result when an immune system attack affects myelin, the protective insulation surrounding nerve fibers of the central nervous system (the brain and spinal cord). Myelin is destroyed and replaced by scars of hardened“sclerotic” tissue. Some underlying nerve fibers are permanently severed. The damage appears in multiple places within the central nervous system.  Myelin is often compared to insulating material around an electrical wire; loss of myelin interferes with the transmission of nerve signals.

I have pretty much all the symptoms listed above at one time ,except for paralysis, or another and sometimes all at once.  As I said in the past, the most debilitating for me is the extreme fatigue and walking difficulties.