My head is still playing ring around the rosie with itself and I am pretty sure I am not the winner today. I worked for about 3 hours and the vertigo is so bad that I had to go. I feel nauseated and the room is going crazy. When is this crazy ride going to end.
Optimism. I am striving for that. I am optimistic that the medication is going to kick in any minute now (c'mon, hurry up, been almost 6 months and Nada)......
Positive. I am attempting to keep that up too. Today I am positive that MS sucks!!!!!
Hopeful. That's another good one. I am hopeful that my head will stop spinning soon and that the neighbors dog will stop barking all night long (they both seem out of the question at this time). I am hopeful that they will find a cure for this disease.
Willing. I am willing my body to cooperate. I am willing the medicines to work. I am willing to give up this disease any time now!!!!!
I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible to you.
- Matthew 17:20
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
spinning
Today was another day of spinning. I remember when I was a kid, I used to love the merry-go-round (I think they are outlawed now for whatever reason). It was such a blast to go as fast as you could, round and round. When the big kids were there and they would spin you fast, wow that was awesome. Not awesome anymore. Now I get all the dizzy feelings I want and I don't want it no more. I feel like I am leaning to the right when I am walking and boy does the room seem out of control. It's not so cute either when you are big to be off balance. Ohhh the looks you get......priceless. I want to shout, ummmm not drunk, just MS'd.
I think I must look about as good as I feel. There's a four letter word to describe the way I look and feel towards the end of the day. Of course, my hubby, always says I look wonderful (he's good at making me feel good, little white lies and all). God Bless him. He is a wonderful soul and he doesn't even realize how much even the smallest things he does, makes me feel so loved.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - Herm Albright, 1876-1944
I think I must look about as good as I feel. There's a four letter word to describe the way I look and feel towards the end of the day. Of course, my hubby, always says I look wonderful (he's good at making me feel good, little white lies and all). God Bless him. He is a wonderful soul and he doesn't even realize how much even the smallest things he does, makes me feel so loved.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - Herm Albright, 1876-1944
Thursday, January 28, 2010
weather vain
Went to work today, made it 6.5 hours. Woo hoo,GO Misa, Go Misa, Go Misa. The problem was my get up and go, got up and went (originality is not my forte)....
I am wondering if there is a correlation between the weather and how your MS reacts. I can picture some doctor diligently shaking his head and saying with an authoritative voice, "there is no way the weather can affect your MS symptoms". But I wonder.... It seems the days I feel worse, when I am not having a relapse, are the days when there is a big change in the pressure system. Today my head is spinning, like a record baby, and my balance seems quite off, and lo and behold we have snow. If we could prove the correlation, then who needs a barometer. I could be rich and famous as the first accurate weather gal :0)
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck
I am wondering if there is a correlation between the weather and how your MS reacts. I can picture some doctor diligently shaking his head and saying with an authoritative voice, "there is no way the weather can affect your MS symptoms". But I wonder.... It seems the days I feel worse, when I am not having a relapse, are the days when there is a big change in the pressure system. Today my head is spinning, like a record baby, and my balance seems quite off, and lo and behold we have snow. If we could prove the correlation, then who needs a barometer. I could be rich and famous as the first accurate weather gal :0)
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Brain Fog
Today is the day before my 4 in a row work schedule and I am dreading it. Not because I don't want to work, but because I am hoping I can survive it. My plan is to rest most of today so that maybe my energy reserves will take me through the next 4 days. I am grateful to be working still. I really think the interactions I have at work are therapeutic for me otherwise I would be stuck in a house all day long.
It is difficult for me to get out of the house much on the days my husband works because I get so dizzy when I drive and sometimes when I am out and about my thoughts get all confused. This is especially true when I am in an area with a lot of people around and in very busy areas. Its almost like my brain can not decipher too much information at one time. It gets overloaded really quickly.
When I go to the grocery store, I have to plan on what to get. If I don't then it seems I wander around aimlessly trying to figure out and find what I am looking for. I end up walking back and forth across the store, which leads me to be completely and utterly exhausted (mentally and physically). By the time I get to the checkout, I must look like death warmed over. I try not to carry on a conversation with the cashier as I am sure nothing I say would make very much sense.
If you ever have a conversation with me and I am exhausted, I would like to apologize ahead of time. It is not that I don't find what you say interesting, it's that for some reason I can not process what you are saying. I can't tell you how many times people have told me something and I have no idea what they have just said. It is rather embarassing. I have always been told that I am a rather intelligent person, and I do consider myself to be for the most part, but lately my ability to absorb information is nill.
"He who asks a question is a fool for a minute; he who does not remains a fool forever."....Chinese Proverb
It is difficult for me to get out of the house much on the days my husband works because I get so dizzy when I drive and sometimes when I am out and about my thoughts get all confused. This is especially true when I am in an area with a lot of people around and in very busy areas. Its almost like my brain can not decipher too much information at one time. It gets overloaded really quickly.
When I go to the grocery store, I have to plan on what to get. If I don't then it seems I wander around aimlessly trying to figure out and find what I am looking for. I end up walking back and forth across the store, which leads me to be completely and utterly exhausted (mentally and physically). By the time I get to the checkout, I must look like death warmed over. I try not to carry on a conversation with the cashier as I am sure nothing I say would make very much sense.
If you ever have a conversation with me and I am exhausted, I would like to apologize ahead of time. It is not that I don't find what you say interesting, it's that for some reason I can not process what you are saying. I can't tell you how many times people have told me something and I have no idea what they have just said. It is rather embarassing. I have always been told that I am a rather intelligent person, and I do consider myself to be for the most part, but lately my ability to absorb information is nill.
"He who asks a question is a fool for a minute; he who does not remains a fool forever."....Chinese Proverb
Monday, January 25, 2010
I like to move it, move it
What shall we talk about today???
Today was just an ordinary day. Right now, ordinary is good. I started my Pilates again. I wonder how long it will last this time. I actually feel better and have less pain when I do Pilates. I think the stretching helps the muscle spasms thus leading to less pain. Pilates allows me to strengthen my muscles and it is also an indicator for a flare for me. The last time I was faithful to my routine, a few months ago, I could lift my legs like they were lighter than air and the following day I could no longer lift my left leg up, that was my last worst relapse back in August. Since then I have had foot drop in my left foot and loss of muscle tone and definition to my left calf. I have not been able to regain in back, but I will keep trying.
I have a big elliptical machine in my bedroom that has been gathering dust for the last 6 months or so, not for lack of want but for lack of energy and balance. My goal is to be able to use it again in the next month or so, but first I need to gain some of my coordination and balance back. My husband is afraid that I am going to fall off the machine, which might be a valid argument at this point.
For Christmas, my husband gave me a Wii Fit Plus. I used it a few times and it works, but my stamina is not quite up to it. Lots of exercise games and they are actually really fun. The balance board tells me I am off balance (Naw really???, who'd a thunk)
I have lots of options and varieties of exercises I can do. Now that I am starting to feel a little better, I will slowly incorporate them back into my life. It is hard to know my limits. I tend to overdue in the beginning and pay for it the next day, but I am slowly learning to listen to my body. I want to be stronger on a daily basis and not just sporadically.
"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being,
while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it." ....Plato
Today was just an ordinary day. Right now, ordinary is good. I started my Pilates again. I wonder how long it will last this time. I actually feel better and have less pain when I do Pilates. I think the stretching helps the muscle spasms thus leading to less pain. Pilates allows me to strengthen my muscles and it is also an indicator for a flare for me. The last time I was faithful to my routine, a few months ago, I could lift my legs like they were lighter than air and the following day I could no longer lift my left leg up, that was my last worst relapse back in August. Since then I have had foot drop in my left foot and loss of muscle tone and definition to my left calf. I have not been able to regain in back, but I will keep trying.
I have a big elliptical machine in my bedroom that has been gathering dust for the last 6 months or so, not for lack of want but for lack of energy and balance. My goal is to be able to use it again in the next month or so, but first I need to gain some of my coordination and balance back. My husband is afraid that I am going to fall off the machine, which might be a valid argument at this point.
For Christmas, my husband gave me a Wii Fit Plus. I used it a few times and it works, but my stamina is not quite up to it. Lots of exercise games and they are actually really fun. The balance board tells me I am off balance (Naw really???, who'd a thunk)
I have lots of options and varieties of exercises I can do. Now that I am starting to feel a little better, I will slowly incorporate them back into my life. It is hard to know my limits. I tend to overdue in the beginning and pay for it the next day, but I am slowly learning to listen to my body. I want to be stronger on a daily basis and not just sporadically.
"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being,
while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it." ....Plato
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Today was definitely a day of rest for me. Went to church and that was pretty much the extent of my activity. It seems that even working the short 8 hour shifts I am doing just takes it all out of me. I am down to 24 hours a week and just making follow up calls, seems easy enough, but it wipes me out especially if my days aren't spaced out.
I know that some people would have a hard time understanding the degree of exhaustion that some people with MS feel. It is hard to explain. I don't wake up exhausted, some days I do, especially after working 3 in a row, but usually it gets more profound as the day goes on. I can do a few tasks during the beginning of the day and then I have to rest. As the day progresses, my legs start feeling heavier and I begin to stumble all over myself and it takes all my energy just to move around. This has been a constant since April 2009. Every once in a while it seems I can make a whole day pass and feel like a normal person, but for the most part everyday feels like I ran a million miles by the time night falls.
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and has made the Lord his hope and confidence. - Jeremiah 17:7
I know that some people would have a hard time understanding the degree of exhaustion that some people with MS feel. It is hard to explain. I don't wake up exhausted, some days I do, especially after working 3 in a row, but usually it gets more profound as the day goes on. I can do a few tasks during the beginning of the day and then I have to rest. As the day progresses, my legs start feeling heavier and I begin to stumble all over myself and it takes all my energy just to move around. This has been a constant since April 2009. Every once in a while it seems I can make a whole day pass and feel like a normal person, but for the most part everyday feels like I ran a million miles by the time night falls.
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and has made the Lord his hope and confidence. - Jeremiah 17:7
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