This is national MS week, where MS will be in the forefront for a few days. Then next week everyone will have moved on to something else. Not me. MS is with me all the time. I can never escape it. My days are filled with it. I can't even try to forget.
Daily reminders around every corner when I try to forget. I can't stand on my tip-toes to reach something on the top shelf with out losing my balance. I can't walk very far with out using a cane. IF I forget my cane, my speed is about a turtles pace and my walk is like that of a toddlers (swaying side to side). Someday's my body fools me, for whatever reason, I can do a little bit more. But no worries, because in a few days it plays a cruel joke and I am back to toddler hood.
Today I am tired. I am visiting my family and went into the mountains for a litte bit. Lasted a couple hours. It's so nice to be out of the house like a real person. Now, however, I am paying for it. I am utterly exhausted. Feel like my energy reserve has been used for the next month.
Trying to be full of optimism, but just not feeling that today. If it weren't for my family, I probably would be more housebound than not. No fun. I really hate not having my independence. I always wonder when my husband will be tired of having to help me out so much.
I hate how my body betrays me. I hate the look that good old steroids gave me. My doctor tells me to excercise to lose the weight. I try. Then I succeed. Then I get knocked back down. It's really hard to keep getting up just to be knocked back down. At what point do you just stop getting up. I hope never, but every once in a while I feel like it would be easier to stay down.
I would like to acknowledge that in this great big world of ours that mY MS is a small problem. I would like to pray for those victims on this past weeks hurricances and tsunamis. May God bless those who are in need. I pray that he comforts those who have suffered losses and gives strength to those who are suffering. I pray that He opens the hearts and minds of all around the world and touches their spirit to offer support whether it be financially, by volunteering or by lifting their hearts up in prayer.
Daily reminders around every corner when I try to forget. I can't stand on my tip-toes to reach something on the top shelf with out losing my balance. I can't walk very far with out using a cane. IF I forget my cane, my speed is about a turtles pace and my walk is like that of a toddlers (swaying side to side). Someday's my body fools me, for whatever reason, I can do a little bit more. But no worries, because in a few days it plays a cruel joke and I am back to toddler hood.
Today I am tired. I am visiting my family and went into the mountains for a litte bit. Lasted a couple hours. It's so nice to be out of the house like a real person. Now, however, I am paying for it. I am utterly exhausted. Feel like my energy reserve has been used for the next month.
Trying to be full of optimism, but just not feeling that today. If it weren't for my family, I probably would be more housebound than not. No fun. I really hate not having my independence. I always wonder when my husband will be tired of having to help me out so much.
I hate how my body betrays me. I hate the look that good old steroids gave me. My doctor tells me to excercise to lose the weight. I try. Then I succeed. Then I get knocked back down. It's really hard to keep getting up just to be knocked back down. At what point do you just stop getting up. I hope never, but every once in a while I feel like it would be easier to stay down.
I would like to acknowledge that in this great big world of ours that mY MS is a small problem. I would like to pray for those victims on this past weeks hurricances and tsunamis. May God bless those who are in need. I pray that he comforts those who have suffered losses and gives strength to those who are suffering. I pray that He opens the hearts and minds of all around the world and touches their spirit to offer support whether it be financially, by volunteering or by lifting their hearts up in prayer.
God Is Our Hope
God is our hope and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will we not fear, though the earth be moved,
and though the hills be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though the waters thereof rage and swell,
and though the mountains shake at the tempest of the same.
There is a river, the streams whereof make glad the city of God,
the holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.
-- Book of Common Prayer 1979
