weebles wobble but they don't fall down

Went to work today.  Another exciting day, not really.  I miss the exciting days.  Helped to triage a patient and had to walked through step by step through the computerized charting because it has been so long since actually doing any kind of patient interaction like that.  Was only momentary though and back in the office making follow up calls.
I find it hard to focus.  I want to be out on that floor but I know that I probably never will get to be.  Makes me sad because taking care of people makes me so happy.  I need to take care of me now.
Today I still used the cane, but I felt like maybe I don't need it anymore.  The problem is the longer I am up walking, the more I really need it.  I get clumsier and off balance as the day progresses, so the dilema is do I use the cane all the time or carry it around until I need it later in the day (and how dumb would it look to carry a cane but not use it) (not that perception matters, but it kind of does to me).
I wonder what it is about this disease that makes day to day so different.  Some days I am at a higher level of functioning than others.  It's so bizarre.  I have never been quite normal since April (I am sure this has been a repetitive theme in my blogs), but one day I am walking with barely any problems and the next day I feel like I have those big old clown shoes on and stumbling all over the place.
Maybe I should wear a shirt that says If you pull me over for a sobriety test, I will fail, not because I've been drinking, but because I am MSing.   Hope to never get caught at a checkpoint. I will surely fail their field test.  The whole irony of that situation would be that I don't drink (very rare).
Anyway, just sort of rambling on.  No real though process here.  Having issues with that today too.  I have noticed that my spelling is awful lately.  I can't make a complete sentence. (except that one)  My coordination for typing is way off.
This has really turned out to be a diary more than anything.  I am sure that no one really reads these but they help me in the end.  I have to tell you that looking up these end of the post quotes has been helpful too, inspiring.
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." ...Mother Theresa